What was i thinking?????

I tried on the black dress again.
With the hair not done, and the wrong shoes on.
But so i could decide which necklace to wear.

Options:-
1/. Bling. big loud crystal set necklet all white and sparkly.
2/. less bling. siver dainty flower set necklet with matching bracelet and ring.
3/. even less bling. my great grandma's silver and marquesite dainty leaf and drop necklet.
4/. black and beady victorian style choker.
5/. pearl and gold with a central droplet pearl necklet.
5/. classic floating grey freshwater pearl necklet.

So I shouted to Emma to come and tell me what she thought.

And she came in and did that screwy up nose thing that she does when she thinks I'm wearing something that doesn't quite work.

so I asked her to take a pic with my phone.

*whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*
*grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*

I look like a bloody sausage.

Well, ok, perhaps its not that bad.
But the sheen on the satin shows off every lump that I would rather it hid.
And somehow my waist has dissappeard.

Ah bugger it.
And yes, you know it's coming.....

*SIGH*

At least the skirt and bustier should arrive on tuesday or wednesday, and i hope they'll look better.
Otherwise i will be spending the weekend scouring the shops for something long and suitable.

*stops self reaching for the biscuits*

Bah

Yes, once more I'm in sighing mode.
Sad sighing mode unfortunately.
Feeling unable to say anything because I know that nothing that I say can make any difference or improve things.

I hate it when things don't go well for friends that you wish the world for.

I look around me and I see life crapping on people for no other reason than that it can.

I see my eldest daughter just starting to grow into an adult, and I know that all of this is likely to come to her too, and I wonder if I'll be able to help her when it does, or keep my mouth firmly shut when i can see that things aren't right but that if i say what I see she will not be helped by it.

I know that part of being a parent is to just be there for your child, to comfort them when whatever happens happens, and i'll always be there for both of my girls if they'll let me, but I still dread it happening.

I look at Dave and know that he's worried about not being able to get another job, and that he feels that he's let us down by not doing things differently in the past, and i know that its his fight. He knows that I don't think any less of him, but that still doesn't stop him from feeling like that.

I look at my mum, and i know that she's aware that time is something that Marek and her don't necessarily have, and I wouldn't do anything to stop her being happy with him, even thouhg it means that I lose her again.
And I'm aware that my feeling that way isn't the reality of the situation, but that its my own fight to come to terms with.

I look at my life and feel that I've accomplished so little, even while i can't think of more than a few small things that I'd have changed even if I could have done.

And yet ......

*sigh*

Today I am mainly....

...eating JellyBelly and tottering about on my gloriously high towers of foot encasing satin.

*walks around with her head in the clouds*

Prince of Darkness?

So when a black haired pale skinned stranger walks in followed by a gust of icy air, dressed in an immaculate black wool overcoat and clutching an ornate gold knobbed cane under one arm, with just one hand sheathed in a fine silk glove and stands surveying the room with a slightly sinister air wouldn't you be slightly suprised when he asks in perfectly normal tones about spectacles?

:D

Heh...... well, ok, it might have something to do with the fact that I'm reading , well, listening on my ipod, to The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova, but it was a bit of a let down to hear him speak in normal middle class tones and not in deeply accented slavic ones.

shoes

These had half a day to go on ebay, and were only up to £21 and she's gone and ended her auction early.

Why?

I mean, i would have bid far higher than that.

I was going to start first thing in the morning since they were set to finish at 7.45 am, and i would have happily paid more than twice that , since Emma really liked them.

But no.

She ended early.

Bah.
*grumps*

*sigh*


I will have to be content with these two pairs of scrummy shoeness that I bought over the last couple of days .













A gorgeous pair of demonia satin pinstripes.










And this little pair of silver and crystal flatties for the summer.

Though i may have to fight Emma off for the pinstripes because she really liked thse too, and i have a nasty feeling that they may fit her better than they'll fit me, given that they're an american 7, but they were too gorgeous to not risk it and buy them.

The next question is .....

Do I buy these gorgeous bits of glossy sexiness too?

*drool*