Bah

Yes, once more I'm in sighing mode.
Sad sighing mode unfortunately.
Feeling unable to say anything because I know that nothing that I say can make any difference or improve things.

I hate it when things don't go well for friends that you wish the world for.

I look around me and I see life crapping on people for no other reason than that it can.

I see my eldest daughter just starting to grow into an adult, and I know that all of this is likely to come to her too, and I wonder if I'll be able to help her when it does, or keep my mouth firmly shut when i can see that things aren't right but that if i say what I see she will not be helped by it.

I know that part of being a parent is to just be there for your child, to comfort them when whatever happens happens, and i'll always be there for both of my girls if they'll let me, but I still dread it happening.

I look at Dave and know that he's worried about not being able to get another job, and that he feels that he's let us down by not doing things differently in the past, and i know that its his fight. He knows that I don't think any less of him, but that still doesn't stop him from feeling like that.

I look at my mum, and i know that she's aware that time is something that Marek and her don't necessarily have, and I wouldn't do anything to stop her being happy with him, even thouhg it means that I lose her again.
And I'm aware that my feeling that way isn't the reality of the situation, but that its my own fight to come to terms with.

I look at my life and feel that I've accomplished so little, even while i can't think of more than a few small things that I'd have changed even if I could have done.

And yet ......

*sigh*