Hen Nights.

What the hell has happened to Hen nights since I got married?????

Ok, so its a while ago.
1981 to be exact.
But i DID have one.
And it DID involve clubbing and having fun.

But when did all this

and this


happen?

I'm going to one on saturday and have been given instructions from the brides sister to ' bring something small stupid and embarrassing' to pin to the bride to be so that she'll feel, well, small, stupid and embarrassed aparently.
:S

I get the dressing up thing.
But making her feel stupid and embarrased?
What are they?
Friends or enemies?

Maybe its a generation thing.
I was also going to go on later with the rest of the [younger]girls to a club which according to the same sister was a 70's themed one where in order to get in you had to go in costume.
I thought ..fine..i can do that, i mean the 70's covers everything from mini /midi/maxi skirts to punk.
And then i thought about it somemore, did a little investigating and discovered that the place they were talking about was here http://www.carwash.co.uk/
And the dress code is this


Not exactly what I was expecting.
:D

Now i can do fetish ok..i mean give me a corset and some big heels and you're nearly there, but I'm not stupid, and thats exactly how I'd look if i tried to match those ensembles.

So i'm begging off after the meal and trotting off to do things that atually make me feel good and not stupid.

Thinking while watching CSI

It's amazing what goes through your mind while you watch TV.
Human nature is a strange and sad thing.

I often have difficulty telling people things that I think or know that they won't like, and i feel that I'm less of a person for not biting the bullet and actually speaking out.

A couple of things have happened recently that have made me think more about this.
Some have affected friends of mine, some family, and some people that i know but who I'm not close to.
And the thing that has connected all of them is the fact that in each case a person has acted in such a way as to try and make other people put pressure on someone else in order to make their lives easier or to make themselves feel less culpable for whatever has happened.

And its something that I don't understand.

I don't understand when people use their children as pawns to get back at their ex spouse/partner.
Even when things were at their worst with my ex husband i would never have dreamed of slagging him off to my daughter or stopping him seeing her.
Whatever had happened between us didn't change the fact that she was his daughter and that they love each other.
As she's got older i have explained more about why we didn't stay married, but I've always tried to be fair and balanced.
And as she's grown up its helped her to accept her father for a whole person, and to understand some things that happened around her when she was with her father and his family .

I don't understand it when someone thinks that their ex partner owes them anything when a relationship breaks up.
No matter how horrible a break up is, there must have been something that held them together, and hopefully that includes a sense of respect for each other, so if something ends it ends.
There's nothing that can change that.

I don't understand it when someone uses their standing within a group to try and exclude a newer member of that group for personal reasons.
It leaves a nasty taste in my mouth .
If a group is public then its public, and it means that there may be members who don't get on in it.
Hopefully if they are adults they can agree to dissagree.
So i don't understand why someone would actively ask other members of that group to get them banned.

And mostly i don't understand why i didn't say anything.

weekend stuff

Its been hot and sweaty today.
All weekend actually.
And a weekend of really looking at what goes on around me.

SATURDAY
I went up to town on saturday after work, stopping off at my mums on the way for a change, and getting there just as Marek and her were discussing the survey results of the new palce that they were buying.
i stopped for a cup of tea and a quick chat but i don't feel as comfortable there as i used to.
Its not that I'm not made to feel welcome, but I sometimes feel like i'm intruding a little.
Then off to London for a non-specific mind emptying trip.

I like going up and doing more or less nothing as much as I enjoy going and visiting the galleries etc.
I find it calming to sit with a cup of tea and watch what's going on around me.

On saturday what was going on around me was the England game and Gay Pride.
A volatile mix :D

I've rarely seen so many fit muscular guys in one place.

Apart from some pissed fans i had no hassle but the sound of the police sirens in the rather too near distance made it clear that it wasn't like that everywhere.

On the way home I got to talk to mum about the serious money implications of the sale and now feel much happier that she won't be left in the lurch should something go wrong between the 2 of them.
Of course ,as per usual it meant that i didn't leave her place till past 10.30 so by the time i got home it was nearly midnight, and jo was again asleep.

I feel bad that when i take space for myself she misses out on time with me.
At least this time her dad was able to take her out to her school fete rather than her having to stay longer round her nans, so she had fun, but still.....

SUNDAY

Sticky sticky sticky.
Its days like this that I wish we were closer to the coast.
Most of the day was spent sitting in the garden.
Jo [ having got told off for squirting everybody with her waterpistol and soaked my newspaper ] sat with her feet in her wastepaper bin which she'd filled with water and handwash liquid.
Dave sat with his foot up and managed to get through about 6 botles of kronenbourg while he read his newspaper.
Emma regaled us with the run down on how her great grandma had coped with the birthday lunch at a chinese restaurant that her dad had organised.
And me....
Well i read my paper [and was suprised to find a piece in there about postsecret ]and sat and thought.

Oh and i weighed myself again.
And I've lost 6lbs.

Now i don't know whether to leave that little bit of information in this blog.....
.....but you know, if I don't acnowledge that i NEED to lose it and that I am CONSCIOUSLY doing something about it then i allow myself to drift back into the same old habits that got me in this situation in the first place.

16th Birthday :D

I'm sitting here with the BIGGEST grin after Em's 16th birthday party.
I'm also exhausted and surrounded by debris, but I guess thats the sign of a good party.
:D
Its brought back some old memories for me too, especially the "oh my god, Dom HUGGED me" comments, the mass exodus to the toilets/bar/food , the hanging over the fence to try and retrieve some lost sunnies, the multiple bodies strewn around the living room the next morning....
Ok, so i also have enough food to feed the whole street, and enough booze for at least a couple more parties, but hey, that goes without saying doesnt it.

In other news, Dave's still not back on his feet, so Death Cab For Cutie at Brixton tomorrow is out of the question.
I don't think I'll do the clubbing bit of the hen night in july , but i might go to the 21st that needs fancydress.
Thats not till august, so I'll have enough time to find something suitable to wear.
*goes off to research some suitably silly and yet not completely twattish costume*

Christ, is that the time?

As was pointed out to me recently its been ages since I've updated, and since the main reason has been lack of time I've probably forgotten most of what I've been doing to make me have no spare time in the first place, but since I hate those 'will update soon' kind of updates I'll do my best to run it down in brief.

Most recently I had a not quite suprise chat with my mum regarding her selling up and moving to the west country, followed by a weekend trip by her and Marek to look around , followed immediately by them putting in an offer on a property , putting hers on sale, getting an immediate ofer and planning to move to Exmoor in the next 10 weeks.
I'm equally glad for her/them and sad that I've only had her around and able to do mum/daugher stuff for a few years.

Em has sat her GCSE's with all the attendant stress and strain.

I seem to be working late on a regular basis just to keep things under control.

Dave has a new job that means he's up at 3.30 which has taken some adjusting to as he used to do an afternnon to early morning shift.

One of my friends mum's died suddenly with no reason, and has brought it to the fore that my mums side of the family doesn't seem to be that long lived.

The garden is nearly finished, though it has recently involved me being outside painting one of the plastered walls at 11.00pm twice.

I got bitten my some unknown bug and my leg came up with a big hard area the size of my outstretched hand and a red itchy patch that ran from my groin to my knee, but its now down to a hard area about an inch round thank god.

I bought some new glass plugs for my ears and discovered that they are easilly 6mm now, so i'm working on getting them up to 8 and then I'll decide how much bigger I want them to go.

I have the bug for more ink, but I need to decide where and what.
Especially after some twat of a meter reader came up from our cellar at work, saw me with my back to him as I was working said 'nice tattoo''how far down does it go' and yanked my jumper out so he could see.
Its the first time anyone has done that to me.
It felt pretty bad.
I'm just glad the door was open and when I pulled forwards and the other staff looked over he had the grace to look embarrassed.
What makes people think they have the right to move your clothes to see something just because its a tattoo?

And now I'm off to watch the football with dave.
Unless I fall asleep ;D